• Jessica Marie

Community in the Chaos

Oh loves. This time is so wild, unprecedented. The collective conscience is dancing in the rain while we witness the shake down of all some believed to be stable. A week ago, I was in Winco trying to do my shopping before the children returned from their father's house. There in the crowded isles of bare shelves I was blessed with a revelation. This chaos, crazed mentality of "buy it all" is a function of just how spoiled we are. There's a panic ensuing because we can't go to the store and buy exactly what we want and in the quantity we desire. Welcome to how the majority of the planet lives, friends. Time to get creative. Make do. Make the best of the shake up. Find peace in the craze. Joy in the pain. Hope in the despair. We got this and now is the time to unify.

Our existence has become so isolated. We focus on our screens and keep plodding through life, often not knowing our neighbor, looking at the sky, feeling the sunlight dance on our skin, hearing our children giggle. I don't know about you, but I've been savoring these moments a little longer lately. Waking each morning to this slowed pace, with eyes still closed, sweet baby in my arms doing her baby snore, with a grateful heart recognizing at least ten of my blessings and rejoicing in those. This is life. A life at it's purest form, one without the insane pace we've created to stay on beat or just above water.

I know so many of us are struggling right now. I feel the unsettled energy everywhere. I feel your vibes, your questions, your concerns about where a paycheck will come from, how you will stay above the water, weather the storm. Truth is, I'm not sure. I don't know what's next for any of us. I am at a slight advantage. I've lived my life for the better part of five years not knowing what was next from day to day. 2019 I learned how to savor the moment I was in. I began to have trust in my power, my strength, my ability to create exactly the life I believe I deserve. I spent many nights in the past five years wide awake hearing the words of others reverberate about me being a failure as a person, a wife, a mother, wasting my degree, not knowing how to run a business, on and on blah blah blah. I spent the days trying to paint a different picture by going to every play date, being "nice" to everybody, never loosing my cool, cooking it all from scratch and as healthy as possible, cleaning a house that never would or could stay clean, applying to jobs I didn't really want or believe in, and basically being a doormat for everyone in hopes of retribution for words said that I chose to believe. In all of this, I never let anyone in to see the truth. I was never vulnerably honest about my fears and failures. So let's be honest and real during this time. Let's make an agreement to hold one another up and march through this head held high as the perfectly flawed humans we all are.

A dear friend once told me,

"Life is just buckets. You don't have to pick up other people's buckets. It's not your responsibility and frankly it's heavy to carry all that around."

One of my all time favorite word combinations is "fuck-it bucket." I am challenging each and every one of you right now, in this moment to toss it all in there. Right into the FUCK-IT BUCKET. All that worry, all that stress, all that craze, uncertainty, hateful words, anger, misdirected frustrations, keeping you from enjoying this moment, the present. There's a chance it could be the last of your gifts. So savor it. And the rest will unfold. I promise. And... please, do not pick up the fuck-it bucket. It's unbearably heavy and not worth the effort. Trust me I tried that route.

Hold on loves. The ride is so bumpy, I know. Yet, I also know this. We are strong. We are capable. We are all connected. I believe in you. I know after the pain of growth and change comes an enlightenment beyond what our minds can fathom. In complete restructuring, we will find that all we once believed to be stable was just a hologram, created to keep us complacent, living a life well below what we deserve. Find peace in the struggle and grow. Stretch to the sky and use these moments to discover exactly who you are meant to be in this wild world we call home.

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